Obsession with perfection

Hi friends! Im so glad you found yourself on my blog today. First, I want to start off by saying that I'm thankful for you. Even if I don’t know you, or you don’t know me. Im thankful that you found yourself on my FIRST blog post ever, Yay! I'm so incredibly excited for this journey. I contemplated for a while on what I wanted to share on this blog. I struggled with figuring out what content I wanted to put out, and I've decided I wanted to do a bit of everything! BUT, first and foremost I want to be completely raw with you guys. I want this to be a real place that you can come and relate with. I will be releasing fun content, but also content I feel in my heart that I need to share. It’s important for me to share real things with you guys because I want all of you to know that you’re never alone. Life is hard and scary sometimes, but it can also be joyful and exciting. So I'm here for the highs, the lows and everything in between. Now that the introduction is out of the way, we can just dive in:

...are you thriving or striving?

To be honest with you guys I didn’t necessarily expect my first post to be so personal. God was really pressing on my heart to just start somewhere, so here I am. As I'm sitting, fingers ready to type, this title pops up in my head: Obsession with perfection. Okay, this definitely something I struggle with. I have a feeling that there are many people that struggle with obsessing over what they think they should be. That can be anything and everything. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn’t work hard for who you want to be, or the things you want to achieve. Im drawing a very drastic line between healthy motivation and unhealthy obsession. What are those areas in your life? Do you find you have some things that bring you anxiety over joy because you feel like you have to do them? Me too. And if not, maybe you just don’t recognize it or you just have a really good grip on life.

For me personally, I’ve always felt as if I had to strive everyday. I said strive not thrive (very different things.) I’ve never felt like I was enough and have always felt as if I've had something to prove. I had this idea in my head that I had to be perfect, all the time. Thats not even possible HALF of the time (or ever really.) If you’ve ever experienced this you know it is very exhausting. Especially if you’re a perfectionist. You try, and try and try... and you still don’t feel like you’re doing enough. I’ve always had this nagging at me and it turned into obsessing over things I thought I could control. What I realized is that trying so hard all of the time doesn’t make me happy. Sometimes, it's even hard to enjoy life when all of the negative thoughts keep circling in your mind. Some seasons I do a really good job at rejecting all of the lies, but I also have seasons or moments when I let those lies stay in my head longer than they should.

"one of the greatest things you can be is yourself."

Do you find yourself trying too hard sometimes? I can tell you first hand it steals a lot of joy from you. You should do things because they’re good for you, and you enjoy doing them. Falling back into a rhythm of obsession is like falling into a black hole you’ve dug yourself. For me personally, there were a lot of reasons why I felt like I had to be perfect. One of them being that I thought that in order for people to like me, I had to be all of these great things. I forgot that one of the greatest things you can be is yourself. You were created to be you, so be YOU. I've learned that it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it matters what you think of you. If you aren't happy with you, then it can turn into a constant battle of trying to find your validation from anyone/anything other than yourself and the one who created you. You can't let the opinions of others dictate how you view yourself and what you do in life. You should do the things you want to do without the fear of feeling like you have to be perfect for others (or even yourself). It's okay to want to improve and work hard, but also learn to embrace yourself just as you were created. Life is a journey. We aren't going to get to the top of the mountain today, and that’s okay! Enjoy. Every. Second. Because you don’t know when it could all be taken from you.

One thing that has helped me is writing little sticky notes over my walls and mirrors. I write down bible versus and encouraging phrases so that when I'm looking in the mirror, they're there to remind me. Another habit I try to do every single day is to read and meditate on Gods word and speak truth over myself. This has made a significant difference to my overall joyfulness, because our true confidence comes from Him. Try to catch yourself when you are thinking negatively and redirect your thoughts when you are aware. Replace it with kindness and encouragement. ("Now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philipians 4:8). I have to remind myself throughout the day that my life is never going to be perfect and I'm never going to be perfect, but I can choose to love the version of me now. It's a daily battle and some days are more difficult than others, but I'm here to tell you that you can overcome it- in whatever area of life that is for you.

"it's okay to not be okay...but it's not okay to stay that way."

You have to give yourself lots and lots of grace. There are some days that we don't quite feel good enough and so we get lost in those thoughts. It's okay to acknowledge how you're feeling and it's okay to not be okay. Write those thoughts and feelings out and then ask yourself some questions to get to the bottom of why you're feeling the way that you're feeling. It's important to figure these things out so that we can rewire our thought process. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay that way. As humans we are constantly growing and changing, so it's time to take our thoughts captive and start making a conscious decision to better ourselves for the future. You will never be perfect, I will never be perfect, but maybe that's something to rejoice about. So whatever it is in your life that you're striving for: remember that it's about what you learn on the way to your goal, not about how you're going to feel when you achieve it.

Perfection is unattainable and it can cost you more than just your joy striving for it. So here's another reminder: you do not have to have everything together for you to love who you are. You do not have to do anything to win God's love or anyone else's. You do not have to strive for the perfect body to feel happy in your skin. You do not have to put makeup on to be beautiful. You do not have to strive for perfection in order for people to like/love you.You can still eat that cookie, because one cookie once in a while is not going to throw off your fitness goals. Looking in the mirror 100 times a day isn’t going to bring you happiness, but only addictive destruction. Trust me this is a very real daily struggle for me, I have to constantly remind myself of who God says that I am and who I know that I am. So this isn’t me sharing a “how I’ve overcome,” but a “how I'm overcoming.” Im here struggling with you, because it’s a daily battle that isn’t always won on our own. God doesn’t call us to be perfect, in fact he calls us to be exactly who we are. Perfect is impossible to achieve but when we open our minds and our eyes we will be able to see truth over the lies. Im here to tell you that you’re seen, loved, important and cherished. I can’t stress enough how important it is to remind yourself of the truth. You can take a breath and take a step back. The new year is about to begin, it's time to change our mindsets for good and to become who we were always meant to be. Let's start now. I wish you the very best my loves.